There may be no better time to hear positive words of affirmation for Black parents than February.

Within this month we honour Black History Month, Valentine’s Day and – here in Ontario – Family Day. It’s a month when we are meant to centre love, celebration, family, and our history.  While we are Black all year round, the best thing about February is we are encouraged to be Blackity-Black-Black!

But we know February isn’t all roses and candied hearts.

A balancing act to embrace celebration 

The month can be a lot for folks in our skin.

Black History Month is meant to be a time to uplift and celebrate Black contributions. We see and celebrate folks typically overlooked not only in the other 11 months of the year but throughout history.  When done well, Black History Month offers us a chance to reflect on rich Black heritage.

Yet, every year we usually hear of Black History Month fails. They don’t overshadow the great things we see in February but do remind us there is plenty of room for improvement. And while we are a people who can and will make the best of our month to shine, the commentary about the value of BHM can be lowkey exhausting.

For some, there can be a bit of professional, parenting and personal heavy lifting during the month.

Those of us involved in DEI in any way are often taxed to the max in February. We are in high demand. We must balance our well-being against the expectation that we are at events, protests, assemblies – just all the things.

Meanwhile, others of us are navigating Valentine’s Day single or muddling through Family Day while juggling the complexities of co-parenting.

And let’s not forget that extra P.A. day they threw in there – just to mess with our scheduled vacation days.

Whew.

A time to fuel Black girl magic and Black boy joy

Perhaps one other important reason I look for positive thoughts and affirmations this month is to make sure I can show up the way I hope to for my kids. I mean, that’s sort of the point, right?

While yes, I try to model positive self-talk all year, February feels like a month-long period when I can trip over stories that help educate my kids about the people who looked like them and drove positive change in our world.

I feel encouraged to take time to acknowledge the hard work of my ancestors. Most of us work to make sure our kids understand more than just Martin Luther King Jr. made a difference. Inspired by those who inspired us, we try to uplift this generation’s Oprah Winfrey and shed light on people our kids can look up to. My children might indulge me and watch my new obsession; Black Life: Untold Stories, something they might not make time for during any other month.

BHM seems like a good time to have our Black daughters put down social media and get out of their comfort zone long enough to be inspired and think about the Black woman they may wish to become. We might use the resources that seem to spring up during February to make sure that our Black sons see the good qualities they have and the big impact others who look like him have made on the world.

Of course I want to make celebrating our heritage part of daily life, but some of the good things brought to life during February aren’t there all year round.

So at the end of the day, it feels important to use this time of celebrating us wisely.

No better time to remind Black parents that we are enough

Taking into account all of these unique demands February places on us, truly some of us need reminding that we got this.

OK, I need reminding. It’s me.

February is the perfect time for Black parents to take a deep breath. It should be mandatory. Anyone mindful of their mental health is wise to use this month to recharge and soak up as many reassuring pearls of wisdom from within our community as we can.

This is a great time to celebrate and reflect on the unique task of parenting while Black.

And affirmations for Black parents come through acknowledging the realities of our world and how these shape our journey as parents. It’s the kind of practical advice and wisdom that reminds us to make each day in our brown skin a great day.  February or not.

The most powerful affirmations simultaneously recognize our calling to do more and be more while assuring us that we are enough. They give us the encouragement we need to keep ourselves afloat while we lift our children up on our shoulders.

Firmly rooted in a sense of justice that centres intentional parenting and inspires strong families, these affirmations honour our inner voice and knowing. The right affirmations are often the rallying cry we need to do hard things and look good while doing it.

While centering the joy and love our children need and we deserve, powerful words for Black parents aren’t fluff and cuddles. The reflections can feel weighty. That’s why Black parenting advice also reminds us that we are not alone in our journey. The best parenting advice for Black parents is grounded in community.

From new moms and dads to veteran parents, these affirmations shine a light on our collective wisdom and shared experiences.

 

Powerful Affirmations for Black Parents

“We can’t protect our children from the hate of the world by acclimating them to high levels of discipline. This is because their actions are not the cause for their mistreatment. We owe it to ourselves and our children to hold them as tight as we can. We may be the only ones to ever do so.” – A. Rochaun Meadows-Fernandez

“The joy of Blackness persists. Our joy is in having loved and been loved well. Our joy is in the ties that bind us to one another. Our joy is in the legacy of all that our ancestors have done for us. Our joy is in being able to participate in that legacy now… ” – Austin Channing Brown.

“If we want more Black men to be vulnerable, we have to continue to show them how. We have to normalize telling people we love them and showing the men in our lives affection. If we want to produce newer and healthier forms of masculinity [we] have to continue to model it.” Marc Lamont Hill

“A Black mother must provide a blanket of stability. She must tell her children the truth about the power of white power without suggesting that it cannot be challenged.”

– Maya Angelou

“Shame is not your name. Shame is not my name. There is nothing wrong with you. There is nothing wrong with me. We have patterns to unlearn, new behaviours to embody, and wounds to heal. But there is nothing wrong with us and the core of who we are. We are unlearning generations of shame and remembering love. It takes time. And the time is now.” – Yolo Akili Robinson

“Raising Black children — female and male — in the mouth of a racist, sexist, suicidal dragon is perilous and chancy.  If they cannot love and resist at the same time, they will probably not survive.” – Audre Lorde

“Dark children cannot thrive without a community of Love, Refusal, Protection, and Resource Sharing.”

– Bettina Love

“The more a parent prepares their child to realize that inequality is not the result of bad people but bad policy, the more we’re able to protect them.”

– Ibram X. Kendi

“It demands great spiritual resilience not to hate the hater whose foot is on your neck, and an even greater miracle of perception and charity not to teach your child to hate.”

– James Baldwin

“Love is as love does… When we love children we acknowledge by our every action that they are not property. That they have rights – that we respect and uphold their rights.”

–  bell hooks

“Black mothers’ vulnerability is particular … it means that you are subject to higher penalties for every misdeed but also, that you need special care and protection because you are susceptible.” – Imani Perry

“The person that was in me that I liked best was the one my children seemed to want.”

– Toni Morrison

“Loving parents, be they single or coupled, gay or straight, headed by females or males, are more likely to raise healthy, happy children with sound self-esteem.”

– bell hooks

“No matter what the professional talkers tell you, I never met a black boy who wanted to fail.”

– Ta-Nehisi Coates

“My mother showed me what was possible. The thing that always amazed me about her life was that no one showed her.”

– Trevor Noah

“I parent effectively in a world of microaggressions + institutional racism + sexism. What’s your superpower?”

– Source Unknown

Powerful affirming quotes to inspire Black parents long after February ends

To successfully raise Black children in this time and place can sometimes mean leaning on and learning from the wisdom of Black parents from another time and place.

The best words of wisdom see us and the complexity of our task as parents. We need more affirming quotes for Black fathers to uplift them. We need advice for Black mothers that sees them as all they are.  While some are from activists and others from some of my favourite writers, these powerful affirmations for Black parents help sustain the energy we need. They can help us infuse our children’s lives with as much power and positive thinking as they can take.

Thankfully we can rely on affirming quotes for Black parents to give us more than just advice. This affirming advice for Black parents centres, uplifts and sees us and all we navigate Parenting while Black.

I hope that honouring our stories and sharing generational wisdom, ensures these powerful affirming quotes will inspire Black parents long after February ends.