My son is obsessed with money.
Hmm. No. Scratch that. My son is obsessed with my money.
“Mom, how much do we make in a year?”
“Umm, sir? “WE” (gesturing emphatically between him and me) do not make any money. Your father and I make money. You just make up new and exciting ways to spend it.”
“Yeah, but like there is this thing called household income, and I’m in the household”.
“Oh, yeah. You’re totally right son.” I say as I allow a smile to spread slowly and wide across my face.
Seeing my expression, my son immediately regrets mentioning it. He recognizes the “look” – it’s my ‘you’ve fallen into my trap and are about to get a life lesson!’ look.
I am always looking for an “in” to talk to my kids about money and I will take any that I can get.
Launching into a talk about money coming in and money going out, I explain the household income, the household taxes, and the household expenses that he accounts for.
Afterward, he groans and says he’s never going to ask again. But I know better. He said that the last time but during parent-teacher interviews, his math teacher mentioned to me his solid understanding of compound interest! So, I know he’s listening!
My parents never helped me to understand much about how finances or money worked. They never talked much about money at all other than to tell me we didn’t have any. This embedded scarcity mindset meant that as I approached adulthood, I was a saver – well I was a borderline hoarder of my money.
While the upside was that I was able to save up and buy my own home at a younger than many of my peers, it also meant I often felt guilty about spending what I had earned on myself. I constantly lived like my next dollar was my last and felt like I had to have money rather than to figuring out how to make money work for me.
There was good and bad to be said about my learned approach to finances. However, one thing is for sure, I’ve worked hard to make sure that my kids have a better understanding of how finances work than I did. I hope that this also helps my kids have a healthier relationship with money than I did.
Mind you, right now my son’s relationship with my money is a little healthier than I would have liked.
It will be worth it if my talks and transparency can help break the generational cycle of a scarcity mindset, and equip my kids to think critically about money.
Many folks are strong advocates for teaching our kids about money and believe this education should start at home and start young.
Let kids know they earn “money”
We introduced our kids to the concept of money and have been having age-appropriate discussions about money with them since the first time they asked us to buy them anything.
It’s not easy to teach preschoolers about money but we used everything from Monopoly Jr. games to their allowance and birthday money to being the conversation and help them learn the concepts of earning, barter and trade, and exchanging goods for cash.
Equally if not more important for our kids, since mine aren’t heirs to anything but my (pretty stellar) gene pool – we instilled the idea that they would need to earn money. Even when we didn’t have actual money – or our kids don’t quite yet value money or have things they wanted to buy – we used other forms of “currency” to teach them this lesson.
In our case, we taught our preschoolers about money by using screen time as a currency. It worked like a charm. I used construction paper to create bills worth varying amounts of 12 minutes, 24 minutes, or 45 minutes of screen time. Based on the time they spent on chores, reading a book, completing math drills, or practicing piano, they earned the corresponding amount of screen time.
It doesn’t matter what currency you use, but whatever your kid finds value in, have them earn it.
As they get older it’s important for kids to know they have choices with their money and that they can and should make plans to save or enjoy what they spend it on.
Teach kids they have options for their money
With fake currency, we also spotted some habits early. Like my daughter would bank her currency saving up to watch a movie or episode she liked. On the other hand, screen time barely graced my son’s hands before he was finding a way to “spend” it.
As they get older it’s important for kids to know they have choices with their money and that they can and should make plans to save or enjoy what they spend it on.
It’s important to introduce your kids and teens to the concept of saving. Older children can create lists of things they might want to save for and even do research to price items out. As financial freedom coach Paris Woods suggests in her book The Black Girl’s Guide to Financial Freedom, every dollar you invest today is an hour you don’t have to work in the future.
Of course, investing probably isn’t going to spark too much interest for most kids, but maybe having one goal, like a Lego set they want, keeps them motivated to earn and save and reward themselves. There are endless things these children and teens want. Whenever their eyes are too big for your wallet, you’ve found a great motivator and saving goal. If you can show support by offering to match their savings dollar for dollar that’s also a great incentive.
While spending comes naturally to many, for some kids giving can be a powerful motivator.
My daughter worked to save her birthday money to donate to our local food bank. She wanted to raise enough money to be able to buy and donate double her weight in food. Once she had the goal in mind, she also started watching prices at the grocery store so she could buy food on sale and make the most of her donation. It was a valuable finance and math lesson rolled into one sparked by her desire to give back.
Demonstrate good money habits
If you want to teach your kids the value of a dollar, and the importance of living within your means but your credit card is maxed, it might be a bit harder to provide authentic leadership.
No judgment here, having credit was a mandatory means of making ends meet, and budget Olympics was my specialty for a long time. That said, since many of us lived with a scarcity mindset, and come from parents with lower financial means and financial literacy, it might not be a bad idea to do some research on how to manage your finances. There are plenty of sites that offer great resources and information available.
If you hope to level up with your kids, the best place to start is by taking control of your finances and demonstrating good budgeting, financial literacy, and focused financial decisions.
You can also start to learn more about what and how to teach them about finances. Clifton Corbon’s Book Your kids, Their money gives parents tools to help them teach kids about money – where it comes from and, among other things, why it’s important to invest, manage cash and debt and donate.
And — I wouldn’t be me if I didn’t mention — if your child is older, it’s a good time to introduce them to idea of Buy Us, For Us and the case for supporting Black businesses, the idea of wealth equity and perhaps becoming a business owner themselves.
Use tools that make learning about money fun
When they were preschoolers, we bought our kids mason jars at the dollar store and let them decorate them with stickers to create piggy banks. They used them to divide their money and were empowered to decide whether they would “Give”, “Save” or “Spend” their money and put it into the appropriate jar. They looked forward to getting money but also to the fun of adding money to their jars and showcasing their work.
As they get older and move beyond being enticed by glittery mason jars – several resources can help kids have fun while they learn about money. Clifton Corbon offers worksheets, Money tracker printables, and other tools that can make the journey to financial literacy more fun. Once they have learned to save money, also learn to help them build a healthy relationship with spending money, include kids in plans to take a vacation so that they understand they can use money to support their goals and have fun.
Of course, as they get older, several Apps can help you teach older kids and teens about money. Teens can learn to track their earnings and spending. A great money app can be a valuable part of your toolkit as you teach your child about budgeting.
Teach kids how to access their money
Finally, and maybe this should have been first, but once you’ve set up banking accounts and taught kids how to budget and make goals – don’t forget to teach your kids the basics of how to access their actual money.
I speak from experience. I did not realize that my children had never paid attention while I used a bank machine, or paid for things at the store. Once they got their bank cards, they needed instructions and guidance that it hadn’t occurred to me to give about how to actually use a bank card at a point-of-sale terminal, use a bank machine, and which white label machines to avoid. In part due to the pandemic, in part due to my use of online banking my Gen Zs had no active memory of going into a bank branch!
Of course, if you aren’t bank machine savvy, or if they aren’t with you when they have questions, no worries several banks have online videos that teach kids how to use their first debit card and keep it secure.
Building generational wealth starts with financial literacy
I don’t know if my lessons will help my son be less obsessed with my money, but I often speak to other parents who wish they had learned more about making, spending, and saving money from their parents. Many of us believe that the key to effectively raising Black children is ensuring they are more financially knowledgeable and stable than past generations.
Many of us want to provide our kids with the information and instill in them the attitudes necessary to build generational wealth but realize that the key to that is understanding money and ensuring kids have a healthy relationship with earning, spending, and saving. No matter what your knowledge and financial savvy is, teaching our kids and teens the basics of financial literacy is one of the best gifts we can give them.
Drop in the comments any advice you have, how did you teach your kids about finances, or what do you wish your parents had taught you?
