Culture-Proofing: How Black Parents Protect Teens’ Online
So listen — the other day, as I was lamenting over (ok, some would call it ranting about) how absolute trash some YouTubers and Influencer content is, wondering aloud (some might say repeatedly) how we got here.
My daughter, trying to put a stop to my latest bemoaning of all things digital age, dropped one of those little truth bombs of hers that I’ve come to love.
“Mom…. the problem is you expect Gen Z and Alpha to have shame. We don’t. We don’t really have secrets – we’ve been online like always, so we don’t understand shame.”
I mean. Judging from some of the online madness, my baby isn’t like totally wrong.
Social media is stitched into every part of our teenagers’ lives
Today’s teenagers and tweens have never known a world without social media platforms stitched into every part of their lives.
Not for a second.
Twitter (now X) was live way back in 2006. Snapchat launched (as Picaboo!) in 2011. TikTok dropped in 2016. The apps changed and morphed. So did the trends — and not just the viral dances, but the insidious trend of documenting everything across endless online spaces.
And before they even had their first words, many of their baby photos were introduced to the digital world – via loving posts their parents made on Facebook timelines. Long before any of us understood how permanent an online world and digital footprints would be.Happy birthdays. First steps. Kindergarten class pictures.
As they grew up, the internet grew up too — social media use got faster, messier, and a whole lot weirder.
Why We Need to Culture-Proof Our Teens (Before the Internet Does It for Us)
Every party they go to, every terrible dance move, every brilliant thought, every questionable choice?
It’s probably online.
Social media accounts, screenshots, comments, old usernames…
Thanks to the magic of internet access and the everyday proliferation of digital platforms it’s harder than ever for our kids to grow, change, and be seen as anything other than the sum of their teenage mistakes. And thanks to their still-developing reasoning skills, many of them don’t even see the problem.
They don’t necessarily see how the online risks and online personas flooding their feeds are quietly colouring their self-talk — or shaping the way they see themselves and the world around them.
And for Black parents, the stakes are even higher.
First off because research from the Pew Research Centre tells us that Black teens particularly, report they visit TikTok almost constantly. This same report says that 73% of teens say they go on YouTube daily, making YouTube the most widely used and visited platform asked about.
But more than that — it’s not just about general online safety — it’s about protecting our kids’ joy, their dignity, their self-worth, and their deep knowing of who they are — inside a digital world that too often tries to erase, exploit, or cheapen Blackness.
What Is Culture-Proofing — and Why Does It Matter?
Culture-proofing — especially for Black parents — isn’t just about screen time limits or stranger danger. It’s about online safety, about protecting who our kids are while they live in online spaces.
It’s about making sure that when they scroll, when they search, when they post — they don’t lose sight of their own worth, their history, their beauty, or their voice.
Because the internet? The internet is not neutral. Social media pushes filtered beauty standards that erase us. Platforms reward trends that mock Blackness — sometimes in your face, sometimes so subtle you almost miss it.
Today’s parents, especially Black parents, can’t afford to pretend the use of the internet is all good vibes and educational videos.
The internet glamorizes anti-Blackness not just through obvious hate, but through casual disrespect:
- Viral “light-skin vs dark-skin” challenges that turn shade into a punchline.
- Memes that paint Black teen girls as “loud,” “ghetto,” or “too much” just for existing.
- Influencers mocking Black features, culture, or slang for laughs without ever honouring the roots.
And here’s the thing that inspires some of my most colourful rants:
Even some of the biggest, most-followed Black influencers push trash too! They are not immune. Sometimes they profit off colourism, misogyny, clout-chasing drama — dragging their own people for clicks.
And because they look like us, it’s even harder for Black tweens and teens to recognize when the message is wrong.
These online shenanigans turn real pain into clickbait. It treats culture like a costume and disrespect like entertainment. And it teaches — quietly, scroll by scroll — that fitting in matters more than standing tall.
If we’re not careful, it teaches Black teenagers that they have to shrink, hide, or filter themselves to survive online.
Culture-proofing means raising kids who know better. Kids who love themselves loud enough to outshout the algorithm. Kids who recognize trash for what it is — even when it looks familiar — and walk away.
This isn’t about panic. It isn’t about perfection. It’s about power.
This Isn’t to Scare Black Parents. (Okay, Maybe a Little.)
There’s no such thing as “zero to nudes.” Nobody wakes up and says, “Today, my kid will do something outrageous online.” But the reality is — it’s entirely possible. Probably more possible than most parents are willing to admit.
Because the apps, the algorithms, the comment sections? They’re designed to pull your kids in. They reward them for staying longer. They suggest “more of what you love.” And sometimes, “more of what you love” leads somewhere you never wanted them to go.
Today’s parents, especially Black parents, can’t afford to pretend the use of the internet is all good vibes and educational videos.
The internet is the stranger we let give our kids candy. And the scariest part? We built a world where they need that stranger — for school, for sports, for friendships, for everything.
Once your child hits high school, being connected to the digital world isn’t “optional” anymore:
Homework is submitted online. Group projects happen over Snapchat DMs. Sports teams update schedules through Instagram stories. Online games become one of the main ways they socialize after school.
If you’re thinking, “It’s fine, my kid is smart,” — so is every other kid who ended up in trouble.
This isn’t about intelligence. It’s about design — tech companies design it that way.
We Can’t Control It All — But We Can Start Noticing.
Look — I didn’t see it either. I thought, “My kids will be fine.” I thought, “We’ll teach them well.” I thought, “Surely they’ll know better.”
And even when I watched shows like 13 Reasons Why and Adolescence I really didn’t think my kids would be like that. — But like, naïveté is not a parenting plan.
The truth is: We can’t control the internet. We can’t control every app, every chat, every TikTok scroll. But here’s what I’m learning we can get better at controlling for our tweens and teens:
- How we talk about privacy settings and personal information.
- Learning how to set parental controls without making them feel policed.
- Creating open communication and lines of communication early — before it’s too late.
- Modelling a healthy relationship with our own social media accounts.
- Teaching tweens and teens that seeing inappropriate content or having negative experiences online doesn’t define them — and doesn’t get to decide their worth.
- Showing them a good example by protecting our own digital footprints.
Culture-proofing isn’t something we do once.
It’s the everyday work of noticing what’s being fed to them, and reminding them who they already are.
Culture-proofing is asking better questions. It’s challenging what doesn’t sit right and building pride louder than the algorithm — one conversation, one side-eye, one small, unglamorous moment at a time.
We don’t have to fear the internet. But we do have to stop pretending it’s not shaping our kids when we’re not looking.
Because it is.
And young people — especially our Black teens — deserve Black parents who are paying attention.
A Small Step You Can Take Today
Culture-proofing starts with noticing — and choosing to clear a little space for better things.
Setting time limits on social media, being intentional about where internet safety meets real life, and having those open convos are some of the most effective ways to culture-proof the next generation. Start here with other posts in our Unfiltered & Unbothered series Raising Kids in a Digital World. And, if you’re ready for a practical first step, click below to download our detox guide 👉🏾 How to Detox Your Kid’s Algorithm: A 5-day Reset Plan to take back your child’s feed.
It’s not about doing everything perfectly. It’s about starting somewhere real — protecting their scroll, their self-worth, and their voice, one choice at a time.
