I’m going to trust you with something kind of embarrassing that happened to me.
So… I was at an event that I helped to pull together. The setup was complete and as I turned around to find a seat, I looked up to see the event’s keynote speaker walking into the room.
Ok. If I’m honest here, I’d say in my mind she more majestically swept in… but that could just be how I experienced it.
As luck would have it, I was the first person to greet her.
Now listen, I wish could say that I held it together. That my professional public relations skills kicked in and I tapped into my years of experience leading high-profile events. Or that I seamlessly greeted her as I had done for dozens of executives, dignitaries, and celebrities throughout my career.
Or that being a whole grown-ass woman meant that I didn’t fangirl all over this poor unsuspecting Queen.
But – and this is where the embarrassment comes in -because I can’t say anything like that.
The truth is I don’t even remember what I said. But it was nothing that even approached eloquent… When I saw her, her 4c curl hair, beaming smile and radiant melanin-rich energy hit me like a drug.
My brain turned off a bit. I don’t think I uttered coherent words but I am pretty sure there was a giggle and possibly a gush about how much she inspired me and how excited I was to meet her. But like, I cannot say for sure.
The speaker was gracious and greeted me with a big smile. If I looked half as deranged as I felt, she hid her dismay well.
Boss Black mothers are Inspiring AF
It took me several days to get over this moment. To take time and reflect on why I barely held myself together.
Because to be clear, this was not some starlet. This woman is someone I have watched from afar just do her thing in the Black community. She is a role model who is constantly called on by equity-seeking folks and consistently shows up. She tirelessly uses her voice and her expertise to elevate those around her. All the while she’s a working mother of littles – so I know I am playing fast and loose with the term “tirelessly”. Cuz I know she must be tired.
It is beautifully affirming to see people who look like me doing their thing and doing it as they uplift so many others.
But as a mother myself, I appreciate that behind the scenes of their greatness, they are managing to keep small humans alive.
This lady was a real-life Black superwoman. The kind of everyday Queen that deserves way more accolades than she might ever get.
And that’s why, with the benefit of time and hindsight, I can say I have no regrets about my fangirling. While it would have been nice to engage in some kind of meaningful dialogue, I look back and can honestly say #sorrynotsorry.
In fact, I’m going to double down and hope that the joy that was evident on my face at seeing and meeting this Queen helps to fuel her seemingly endless tank of giving.
My mom crushes give a boss-like, melanin-rich glow that the world needs more of.
Motherhood is amazing and, occasionally difficult af. And Black motherhood deserves a whole ticker tape parade. I have a special place in my heart for characters like Clair Huxtable, Rainbow Johnson and Aunt Viv of the sitcom world – but, real-life Black mothers truly inspire me. These Queens work, write, glow and choose to give to us while I know they are doing all the things it takes to uplift, protect and raise their little kings, queens and monarchs at home.
That these Queens might be getting midday calls from daycare, dealing with the elementary-school plague of the week, loving teens through all manner of teenagery-ness and still showing up for us, is nothing short of heroic.
My fangirling got me thinking – if not me, who else is going to celebrate boss Black motherhood?
Visible Black mothers need to know that their being out there being present, beautiful, wise or just them is seen. These Black Canadian mothers find time to balance career, activism, and motherhood. My mom crushes give insight, presence, and a boss-like melanin-rich glow that the world needs more of.
Plus I appreciate what they are doing for my son and my daughter. These Queens are giving my kids something I didn’t have growing up. Especially in Canada where we barely learned about the Carrie Best’s and Jean Augustine’s of the world. We were just starting to hear the story of Viola Desmond when she appeared on our ten-dollar bill.
You can’t be what you can’t see and I want my kids to see all that is possible. And a big part of that is seeing visible, daily doses of Canadian Black women unapologetically doing their thing.
Canadian Queens that Give Life To Your Timeline
So in my effort to be the change I want to see, and at the risk of exposing my fan-girling, I’m sharing this list of Canadian Queens who I love to love. My not-so-secret Black mom crushes.
Some of these Queens cleanse and uplift my timeline just when I need them to. Others show up on the news or lead protests and give voice to issues that impact. And some of them just make it ok to just breathe, relax and celebrate in our skin.
They own a level of badassery that deserves applause, and yeah, occasionally leaves me speechlessly fangirling.
Taneisha Morris
Admittedly, I am no domestic goddess. Like at all. But even if I was – cooking with toddlers would seem like a superhero move to me. When I discovered Taneisha Morris, aka The Seasoned Skillet, doing just this as a guest on a TV cooking show while radiating Black joy – she had me instantly intrigued. The times when her toddler daughter helps Ms. Morris in the kitchen – with her chubby cheeks radiating joy – will make your entire day.
To add to these heroics, I then saw Ms. Morris infuse West Indian treats and tricks into her cooking! That instantly elevated her in my timeline and earned me self-appointed fangirl status. Following the timeline of this Canadian foodie and her beautiful little kitchen helper is pure yummy joy.
Amanda Parris
The other day, picking up my daughter I happened to turn on the radio just as they were airing an interview Amanda Parris. My squeal of joy elicited teenage side-eye from my daughter but she knew better than to interrupt as I drank in the interview on our drive home.
I was probably late to the party, but first discovered Ms. Parris when I stumbled on Marvin’s Room on CBC Radio. I was like was that Motown? On CBC? She solidified my love when I watched the show she created “Revenge of The Black Best Friend”. I laughed until I cried during episode 1 – and by episode 3 “The one who dies first” I knew this was the real deal and became a devoted fan. Now, I’m near obsessed with her project “For the Culture” a multi-part docuseries on CBC Gem.
I don’t know all the things Ms. Parris is capable of but from her journalism, to work as a producer and creative she gives voice to the experiences of Black Canadians in a way that just leaves me feeling seen. Or laughing until I cry. I now follow her pages for what’s coming because I know it will not disappoint.
Tracy Moore
I am sure most of us know Tracy Moore as the long-time host of CityLine. But I can’t lie, it’s Instagram Tracy who turned me into a raving fangirl. Canadian society and Black girls everywhere need more Tracy Moore. Somehow between being a boss in front of the camera, a wife and mother, Ms. Moore finds time to use social media in the best way possible.
She fills my timeline with a fearless, beautiful ray of realness. From showing us her “messy” house (which, um, is not that messy girl, but okay) to keeping it real when it comes to the conversations in her head she’s having about her own body (which, for real girl, you wear a Catsuit like you are doing it a damn favour) she’s just everything my timeline needs.
Charline Grant
Ms. Grant is one of those quiet superheroes I wish our society uplifted more. She founded Parents of Black Children (POBC) when she led the fight to take on the York Region District School Board. But the thing is, she didn’t stop at just fighting for her kids. Ms. Grant created POBC to defend and advocate for all Black children and help parents address systemic anti-Black racism in our schools. In many cases of racial violence, or other systemic issues in our schools, POBC and Charline are there to ensure our voices are heard.
Although I’d call her a community activist, Ms. Grant is not a “public figure” – so her page is private, and yes, even this fangirl leaves her alone! But the POBC page is a guiding force and support for Black parents. And I follow them to know when Ms. Grant will pop up in interviews or on podcasts because her energy is fire. Her passionate love for our children shines through loud and clear.
Perdita Felicien
The first time I heard of Perdita Felicien was when I was a young adult. At that time, she was a highly decorated athlete, an Olympian, and a Canadian record-holding hurdler. Now, Ms. Felicien is a TV Host and producer, a Bestselling author, a mom, a daughter and like just all the things.
Reading her bestselling memoir “My Mother’s Daughter” had me truly on the path to fangirling, but Ms. Felicien’s timeline put me over the top. From her special surprises for her mom (Mama looks good in that Mercedes) to dances with her daughter – she is a bright light of Black sisterhood. And I give a special shout to her ultra realness during Canadian Fertility Awareness week when she is at her strongest. Real, vulnerable and candid about her fertility journey. She is living her best life and lets us along for the ride.
Larissa Crawford
I don’t remember how I discovered Larissa Crawford, I’m pretty sure my little sister put me on to her writing. No matter, I am glad Ms. Crawford came into my life… or well, my timeline. Ms. Crawford is a self-described single mother, someone with a disability, and a business owner. A few minutes on her timeline, @larissa_speaks and you’ll know she’s also a climate activist and fitness-focused vegan.
From her writing to her appearances in documentaries and as a community organizer, the lived experience Ms. Crawford candidly shares is very much worth listening to and centering.
Celina Caesar-Chavannes
You had to know Ms. Caesar-Chavannes was going to make this list. A former Member of Parliament, Ms. Caesar-Chavannes has earned a reputation for putting herself on the line for the sake of honesty, transparency, and equity. She may have made Canadian history when became the first Black woman who “rocked braids” on Parliament Hill.
As one of the few Black women to reach this level of government, her efforts shone a light on broken promises of equity in Canada. After leaving politics, she made time to gift us with her memoir “Can You Hear Me Now”. Ms. Caesar-Chavannes has never wavered in her ability to be an inspiring model of leadership and authenticity.
Vivian Kaye
Vivian Kaye is the Founder and CEO of KinkyCurlyYaki. This brand of textured hair extensions for Black women is a revelation for someone (like me!) with natural hair who loves a good extension. But Ms. Kay doesn’t stop at running very successful black-owned businesses, she constantly shares and uplifts others. Each time I see her speak she is working to help folks build their business and understand the world of entrepreneurship.
And then there is her timeline energy. A successful entrepreneur and mother Ms. Kaye has this boundless energy that is absolutely contagious. If Rich Auntie Vibes was a person, Ms. Kaye would be it. Her dedication to celebration and joy is just everything. And I love it. Her smile is just about one of the most life-giving treats to hit my timeline.
Selam Debs
Selam Debs is an anti-racism and racial justice educator, activist and baddie. I’m sure that is the reason I found her on my timeline. But my fangirling really started when I spent time seeing all the things behind her bad-assery. Her work to lead conversations around racial discrimination that challenges the status quo is powerful.
But listen, as much as her work is inspiring, her timeline is not all about the normal ways we think about social justice. Ms. Debs is a joy-seeking warrior whose timeline is busy affirming our lived experience and sharing her best Black life. She does the most to encourage Black folks to be seen and reminds us to embrace Black joy.
Trey Anthony
Sometimes as a writer I appreciate someone who looks like me doing big creative tings! And Trey Anthony has just always delivered. Ms. Anthony is an award-winning writer – she’s self-described as a “Black girl in love with herself & da kink in my hair”.
I have admired Ms. Anthony since her play turned sitcom, Da Kink in My Hair. Back then, as a young person seeing my story – of Black, West Indian, first-generation real life – on Canadian television was everything. I’ve stayed a fan since discovering that everything from her latest book, “A Black Girl In Love (with Herself)” to her timeline reflects much love for Black women and leadership for young girls. I’m here for it.
There you have it… my not-so-secret mom crushes
So to all my Internet besties (who I cannot emphasize enough, do not know me at all):
Lovelies, I see you and I thank you. I see you holding it down and lifting us up. And all the fabulous ways that you do you give this fellow Black mom life.
Oh and yeah…. I apologize in advance if ever our paths cross – because I’m pretty sure things will get embarrassing… for me.
Of course this is not an exhaustive list of uplifting Queens! In fact, it’s a list I find nothing but joy in adding to constantly. There is nothing better than finding and celebrating Black moms who inspire us, raise us up or are just doing the most while living their best Black life.
Share in the comments Canadian Black mothers who might inspire you from afar – or up close – and deserve some flowers!
