Helping my dad pack up his house unearthed some real family treasures. Among the gems was his Perly’s Road Map from 1985—a true relic of the pre-GPS era. And then there were his multiple sets of false teeth. Multiple sets. Like, really Dad, why are you like this?

But I digress.

What really sent me down memory lane were the old family photos we stumbled upon.

Photos from back in the day were…a lot. You know the ones—those awkward, overexposed gems from when cameras were as reliable as a toddler with a crayon. You’d wait days (or weeks!) for the film to develop, only to realize a thumb covered half the lens or that Mom managed to decapitate Dad entirely, probably by accident.

And then there were the staged family portraits. Fuzzy red or brown backgrounds, family members sitting stiffly in “family outfits” that didn’t match but clashed, and babies positioned at angles that gave their foreheads top billing.

Today’s generation of kids will never know the struggle of having parents who thought it was a good idea to add some “visual interest” by telling us children to “touch the tree” in every Christmas photo.

Every. Single. Photo.

Touch the tree!

Touch the staircase!

Touch your brother’s shoulder!

Fast forward to today, and I can’t help but wonder if these awkward throwbacks explain why so many of us are now obsessed with creating the “perfect” family photo.

Hi, ok. It’s me — I’m “so many of us.”

 

It’s easy to get obsessed with creating the best family photo

Yes, I confess, I had a family photo problem.

I was that mom of toddlers who would book a family photo session months in advance and dedicating a lot of time to obsessing over colour palettes, outfit combos, and every Pinterest board promising the secret to photo perfection. Our camera quality has us thinking our job is to be professional photographers. The rest of the family indulged my obsession. I spent what can only be described as an unhealthy amount of time debating what would make the perfect outfit:

• Busy patterns vs. solid colours vs. just white T-shirts?
• Matching pajamas or the whole family in neutral colours?
• Does this outfit clash with the mantle stockings?

I’d make sure everything was just right, all in the name of creating the cutest holiday cards, capture the entire family or just the right look for a frame.

And still… we ended up here:

Honestly,  coordinating the yearly family photo was a great way to drive myself a little nutty.

But here’s what I’ve learned after all that: the photos that truly matter aren’t about perfection—they’re about personality. And in my kids’ case, that’s a lot of personality.

These days, we have more tools in our family photo toolkit to make sure pictures are fun, unique, and tell a story about us. Not to sound all “back in my day,” but as I prepare for this year’s photo session, I’ll admit—I’m a little jealous of what’s available now to make family photos truly stand out.

Here are a few ways I’ve found to skip the “touch the tree” energy and add flair and identity to family photos.

Before I get into it, in the name of transparency, please note that this post contains affiliate links and any purchase made through these links will result in a small commission for myself.

Tips for the Best Black Family Photo – Outfits and Beyond

Tip 1: Choose Outfits That Tell Your Family’s Story

Ok so I get it, just the right outfit might guarantee a timeless look for your family photo. And there’s no denying that the right mix of a lot of neutrals is a great choice fall family pictures! If you’re the type to obsess over details (aka you’re like me…) it’s a safe bet that you will still do all you can to make sure a bight blue shirt doesn’t outshine a green dress! But hear me out: your photos will be memorable whether you spend hours matching or not.

Instead of stressing over perfection lean into outfits that let your family’s personality shine. Custom family tees, for example, are a low-stress option that still looks great in photos. Match with some black pants or blue jeans and a smiling face and these options are comfortable, stylish, and so much fun. Let the picture tell the world you are the Daughter of a Dope Black father

Or lean into a retro vibe

Or create a custom T-shirt that spells out who your family is.

I promise thanks to the magic of digital photos you can’t do worse than your parents’ generation – and certainly not worse than mine.

 

Tip 2: Black Family Photos can Scream Holiday Cheer without saying a word:

If holiday photos are your thing, check out festive options that don’t go full “ugly sweater party.” Matching-but-not-too-matchy pieces (without even a hint of emerald green or cherry red!) can create a polished, cozy vibe that’s perfect for the season.

And honestly Inspire Me Tees on Etsy offers the melanated family plenty of options regardless of what holiday you celebrate or statement you’re making.  From the Sorority Holiday Sweater to short-sleeved classics, you can find options that suit your family.

 

 

Tip 3: There is Always Room to Add Accessories That Reflect Your Identity

Family photos should be about your story. And luckily now there are vibrant, Afrocentric accessories with the kind of flavour and bold colours that can take a simple outfit and make it unforgettable. Check out a shop on Etsy we love for just the right added flair.

These help add a pop of colour and ensure your family’s outfits showcase your ancestry.

Tip4: If You’re Going to Match, Go All In!

Now that my kids are older, I’ll admit, I sometimes still try to coordinate our outfits—old habits die hard! But I’ve learned it’s not about matching patterns or different colours—it’s about capturing us. It’s all about figuring out the best way to just be ourselves and capturing that. The spontaneous laughter, the candid glances, even the occasional grumpy face—they all tell the story of who we are as a family.

Wanna give a relaxed vibe? GO for it – this entire spa look might be for you. Raising Star Wars fanatics in your image? These matching T-shirts and Onesies can bring your inner fan to life in every size for the family. Or truly go all in with head-to-toe coordinated outfits that definitely frame-worthy.

Matching outfits isn’t just about looking good; it’s about telling your family’s story in the most playful, memorable way.

The Most Important Tip? Take the Pictures Anyway.

Looking back at my childhood photos, I noticed something: my parents were rarely in them.  I mean, I was a cute kid and deserved to be the centre of attention, but I would have shared the spotlight!

And I’ll admit, I’ve been guilty of the same thing. Even now, the thought still crosses my mind: I’m not wearing makeup, my outfit isn’t flattering, or I’m just not feeling picture-ready. But honestly, I’m mostly over it. Because, let’s be real—if kids want me to look good in photos, they shouldn’t be so much work! I just got used to finding time to pee alone and now that’s been replaced with my promotion to mom-Uber.  Where’s the time to focus on myself?

More importantly, my kids have never cared if I was wearing a bonnet, if my twists were still in, if my blowout was a humidity-deranged mess, or if my braids were looking busted. They just wanted me in the photo. And that’s what really matters.

So, my advice? Even if you don’t get just the right outfit, or your colors are off – someone’s moody or whatever – take the picture, no matter what.

Years from now, when your kids look back at these photos, they won’t care if you were camera-ready or if the sweaters matched. They’ll just be glad you were there, smiling, laughing, and making memories with them.

The Big Lesson?

The best photos are never the perfect ones. When I look at old albums, my favourite photos – the ones that stand out – are the ones when we’re laughing, I can see joy on my child’s face, or my toddler was wearing their trademark grumpy face or decided that was the perfect time to look the other way.

These days, we don’t have to rely on cheesy props or stiff instructions to create beautiful, engaging photos. Let your family’s unique vibe shine through. Add some fun accessories, coordinate outfits (if that’s your thing), and capture those genuine moments. Family photos should capture our moments and the joy of family —if you’re looking for more ways to bring that joy into your family life, check out our Giggles and Grit: Parenting with Unstoppable Black Joy.

Whatever you do, take the pictures and enjoy your family photo shoot. If your family is anything like mine, the photos that don’t get framed make the best memories. Even if it means touching the tree…