I think most of us appreciate that our Western culture’s postpartum approach is generally umm, lacking.
A TikTok influencer went viral after documenting her stay in a Korean postpartum treatment centre. Her viral video detailing her two weeks spent indulging in prescribed rest had some of us stunned and, yeah, jealous.
The video led to conversations about how new mothers are treated during the postpartum period. All over the globe, in older civilizations, the postpartum care period is a special time in a new mother’s life. Special family members give new mothers body massages, cook their food, and care for their baby. This after-birth care can last three months or far longer.
We are far from convincing the Western world to cocoon new mothers for months. But that doesn’t mean we can’t encourage new mothers to make self-care a part of their lives.
The best thing you can do for the new mom in your life is to ensure she is not indoctrinated into the cult of self-deprivation.
Transitioning into a new role while physically recovering from birth or adapting to a new baby or child can be incredibly challenging. Those who adopt a newborn baby or older child are also transitioning. No matter how you come to parenting, it’s a world of new learning, self-sacrifice and possibly sleep deprivation. The postpartum period is the perfect time to support a new mom’s need for self-care.
And of course, for those not fortunate enough to be surrounded by family this time can be especially challenging. Single parents or those without a full family support system deserve special encouragement to embrace all things self-care.
Celebrating self-care is the best gift for new moms
Postpartum gifts are a great way to help a new mom centre her self-care. The right gift may help her get some much-needed rest and feel supported. The best thing you can do for the new mom in your life is to ensure she is not indoctrinated into the cult of self-deprivation. Show her there is another way!
Inspired by the postpartum treatment center and my own experiences as a new mom – I’ve created a list of thoughtful gift ideas. These unique gift ideas can provide comfort, relaxation, and a much-needed break for a new mom.
Please note, in the name of transparency, this post contains some affiliate links and purchases made through these links will result in a small commission for myself.
The ultimate gift for a new mother is rest
What was perhaps most foreign to folks in watching this Korean postpartum treatment centre was its focus on rest and healing. Societal pressures to “bounce back,” mean there is not enough emphasis on the importance of postpartum self-care. This idea that we should be fine, and look great when we have just created a whole life is astounding. And can also lead some new mothers to miss, ignore or downplay signs of postpartum depression. The centre seemed to encourage mom to nurture her new role, postpartum body, and new responsibilities by first nurturing herself.
The Ontario Black Doula Society suggests that self-help strategies can be effective in treating and preventing postpartum depression. They say one of the best ways to support a new mom is to encourage her to get enough rest. With this in mind, a great self-care gift encourages and supports a new mother’s need for rest.
Self-Care Gift Suggestion 1: Watch the Baby
The first few weeks with a newborn can be overwhelming. While I loved cuddling with my baby, there were days when sleep deprivation kicked in. Those were the times I desperately needed a little time to myself. Knowing that a first-time mom is often hesitant to put her baby in the hands of others (not me, but I hear these folks exist), this gift should be handled with care and without pressure.
You may be wise to include a carefully designed “Babysitting Coupon” tucked into a gift basket. Be sure to let the new mama know Auntie is ready with just a few hours’ notice. Include a way for her to text, call, or WhatsApp you when she’s ready. And, when you get the call, drop everything – and show up.
Admittedly, this gift might be particularly effective if this is not her first child. However, it also encourages a new mom to ask for help, which is key to her mental and physical well-being. Of course, you might need to follow up by texting a digital coupon. Don’t be afraid to gently remind her that you stand by your offer. She’s sleep-deprived, overwhelmed and may have forgotten or feel bad asking!
If this new mom is relieved by being able to sleep for a few hours while someone else takes the baby into the backyard, down the street, or just holds the colicky minion for a while, be prepared to offer a repeat. Suitable for various budgets, providing a new mom with an opportunity to rest knowing her baby is in good hands, is an invaluable gift.
Self-Care Gift Suggestion 2: Do her housework
It is shocking how adding one tiny human to a household can exponentially increase the amount of laundry and cleaning required. And at a time when you have less energy and desire to do such tasks. It was all well and good to suggest that I “sleep when the baby slept”, but I was never sure when that mounting pile of laundry would ever get done.
One of the most thoughtful self-care gifts you can offer any new mom is a little help with housework.
For my best friend, I popped over and set her up with snacks, a neck pillow and the baby’s bassinet nearby. I turned on Netflix for her, and after taking a list of her must-haves, I just went at it.
This might mean washing bottles and pacifiers. You might do the baby’s laundry or put together furniture the exhausted new parents haven’t had time to get to yet. Heck, you can organize the basement! It doesn’t matter what you do – as long as you take something off this new mom’s plate so she can rest and enjoy a snuggle or nap.
If you aren’t the cleaning sort — and you’re sure it won’t be seen as a slight – you might be wise to gift the new mom a few months of a cleaning service. While most don’t help with laundry, cleaning companies, such as Marvelous Touch in Toronto offer services at reasonable prices. Others, like Mission Maids in Alberta, offer one-time cleaning packages.
Whether through a one-time clean, ongoing service or gift card, cleaning services are a great gift. Providing practical help with household chores is a meaningful way to support her during this overwhelming period. This investment of time will pay dividends in the life of a new, exhausted mom.
Self-Care Gift Suggestion 3: Nourish the new mom
A standout from the postpartum treatment centre video was the emphasis on homecooked, richly nutritious food. Aside from physical rest, nourishing food can have a huge impact on a new mom’s recovery and is essential to self-care.
But this is easier said than done! New moms may not have the time for nutritious meals. Especially if this requires them to do grocery shopping, meal planning, and actual cooking required. Plus, often they don’t feel like full meals or eat at odd hours when they just need a little healthy nibble.
Show up with light snacks
While West Indian folk would never commit the cardinal sin of showing up for a visit with a new mom and baby with just our two-long-arm – what we bring in those arms is key.
For new moms, I’d say forget flowers or more baby clothes. Healthy-ish snacks were the key to a new mom’s heart!
For the first few months after my girlfriend had a baby, each time I visited, I brought her snacks. Be it a small charcuterie board, a yogurt parfait or banana bread. Sometimes I would show up bearing a bowl of washed fruit. Other days I brought over a container of fruit salad. This helped her stay hydrated and ensured she had light food in case she was hungry during a midnight feeding.
If you can, show up with a homecooked meal
I learned something super valuable from my mother-in-law. For several years, this wonderful lady would show up at my home with a fully-cooked meal. I never asked for it and she would make no other demands. Not even to see grandkids or stay. She might show up on a Friday evening with baked salmon, roasted potatoes and broccoli. Still warm, foil-wrapped and ready for the over. She would insist she couldn’t stay and was like a fairy-dinner mother.
If you are a good cook, making a meal for a new mom would be a welcome gift. Of course, it’s a good idea to know their preferences and food aversions or allergies – but then have at it! In addition to minding their preferences, pack meals that can be easily heated up. Oh and make sure the meals have no strings attached. Don’t stay, don’t offer to join them. Just gift and go!
Gift a new mom a meal delivery service
If you are no Taneisha Morris and less capable than the Seasoned Skillet, there is no shame in gifting the new mom in your life meals from a meal delivery service. In fact many would consider this a fabulously perfect gift. Have a search for places that deliver meals to your new mom’s area and send her a gift card. Many offer options that meet any dietary requirements or restrictions. Most often these meals are well portioned and easy to reheat. Plus they add amazing variety to meals for new parents.
Of course, if meal delivery services are not available or out of your price range, good old Uber Eats or Skip the Dishes gift cards are the next best thing! The new mom can get everything she needs and will likely have a few restaurant favourites she can indulge in.
Self-Care Gift Suggestion 4: Healing for her body and mind
One of the best self-care gifts you can give a new mother is the gift of healing for her body and mind. Second only to your own two hands, consider gifting her the hands of a professional. These services can provide much-needed relief and support, helping her to relax, recover, and rejuvenate.
Give the gift of Postpartum Doula Support
The directory of Black Doulas led me to the wonderland of services accessible to new mothers in various cities. This is especially helpful for those who live a distance away from the new mom in their life, or if you feel they need more support than you can give.
A stand out was Yoni Spa. This Black-owned, Black-centred spa offers services that will rejuvenate Black mothers. The best part is that the Yoni Spa offers mobile services. They will bring steam and hydrotherapy sessions directly to a new mom’s home. You can even gift the new mom a “Postpartum Recovery” package that gifts her Doula support and steaming sessions. This might be the ultimate gift of stress relief.
While this organization is located in Toronto, if you or your new mom resides outside of the GTA, roll up your sleeves and Google your way to a Black doula near her. Postpartum Doula support may be one of the best gift ideas and the closest thing she will get to experiencing a postpartum treatment centre.
Self-Care Gift Suggestion 5: A basket of goodness
If you are far away or simply believe in the power of a gift basket, consider giving the new mom a collection of items that will encourage her to indulge in herself. A thoughtfully curated gift basket can make any new mom feel cherished and supported.
While you can check out our full list of Black-owned self-care Brands for more ideas, we have some uniquely essential self-care items for the postpartum period that will be perfect additions to her gift basket.
Pretied Headwrap
The last thing a new mom needs to worry about is her hair when visitors pop by. But that doesn’t mean she can’t look cute at the drop of a hat!
Several Black-owned businesses offer these wraps. The Mollie Makes Store on Etsy, offers pre-tied, satin-lined and beautiful bonnets, headwraps and scarves every new mom will appreciate. A satin-lined, Pretied Headwrap should be a mandatory addition to the new mom gift basket.
Hot or Cold Tumbler Mug
If the new mom once enjoyed a hot beverage, we know she can kiss that goodbye when she has a small baby. Thinking of the number of times I had to microwave a coffee when my kids were little makes me laugh. Or the times I would open the microwave to heat up a cup, only to find my coffee mug still in there from the long day before!
That’s why the gift of a unique tumbler is a practical gift to help her keep her passion for java or tea alive. I personally love this Black Women Meditate tumbler because it’s fabulously calming. But any tumbler will help the new mom indulge in the simple pleasure of enjoying a beverage – whenever she gets a moment to herself.
Body Butter
Skincare routines might be the first thing a new mom is forced to sacrifice. Well, after sleep… And showering… Anyways… when making a self-care-themed gift basket for the new mother in your life be sure to include some skincare she might not have the time to indulge in.
Natural Pure Whipped is a great option as it blends cold-pressed nourishing body oils and provides rich hydration and nourishment. The key to any skincare gift is natural ingredients and essential oils that leave her feeling pampered and rejuvenated. Body butter promotes relaxation and well-being, making it a perfect self-care gift for the new mama.
Weighted Blanket
The chance for a better night’s rest might be the best gift to give a new mother. According to the Sleep Foundation, weighted blankets can help increase the production of serotonin and melatonin, which can reduce anxiety, boost happiness, and improve sleep quality— these are essential for any new mother. For some, there is no better way to feel snug and cozy.
If you’re looking to top off the ultimate self-care-themed gift basket, the weighted Blanket from SleepGift is a great option. The unique design of a weighted blanket can ease stress, soothe anxiety, and calm the nervous system, helping new moms sink into some much-needed rest.
A t-shirt fit for a Queen
You know I have to include one of these T-shirts because, in my book, self-care also means self-congratulations for Black mothers. Gift the new mom in your life a Black Mom Life T-Shirt to affirm her entry into this illustrious club of Queens.
This thoughtful gift should be a new Black mom’s wardrobe staple. It is the perfect way to celebrate her new role and provide a boost of pride and confidence. It is a perfect addition to her self-care gift basket.
Personalized Gift Boxes
So I love putting together gift baskets – but if you’d rather send a pre-made gift box there are many options!
Pure Serene Gifts a shop available on Etsy offers great choices. The Hygge Gift Box for Her is a beautiful gift set that includes a cozy blanket, a thoughtful self-care package, and the option for personalization with a heartfelt message.
Whether you put together items yourself or buy one pre-made, as long as they are designed to pamper and uplift, gift boxes are special gifts that encourage the new mom in your life to centre her self-care.
The best gifts for a new mom encourage guilt-free self-care
While I was once insulted to be called the ‘Poster Child for Selfish Moms‘, I now proudly advocate for mothers to put their needs first. This is even more crucial in the early days of motherhood when lack of sleep and late-night feedings are the order of the day.
I hope this is more than a gift list. I hope these thoughtful gifts introduce new mothers to guilt-free self-care and normalize moms prioritizing our physical and mental health. And normalize being as “selfish” as a new mother can be!
We may not be able to gift them the Postpartum Treatment Centre they deserve, but by giving self-care gifts, we help make the postpartum period the special time it is meant to be. These gifts can provide much-needed rest and relaxation but also send a powerful message: that new mothers deserve to take care of themselves without feeling guilty.
Let’s make self-care a standard part of the postpartum experience, comment below on any gifts you have given or received that helped you embrace self-care.
